Hello! It has been a while! You may remember the last time I posted a recipe I was pregnant. Well – I then went off and had a baby! I never thought I would be one of those people who say they never have time because they have a baby but boy was I wrong.
There are alot of things I was wrong about:
- Labour – it never goes as you expect it will. I had imagined a lovely chilled day where I spend most of the time labouring at home all comfortable with music etc. In reality my water broke and labour did not start. Doc had to induce labour with drugs which took hours and hours to work. When the pain hit it was the most excruciating thing I have ever experienced – there was no build up due to being induced.
- Epidural – not so much of fun. I thought I would hang on as much as possible for the epi. And that when I had it – it would be like taking a lovely warm bath. In reality, I got it as soon as contractions started because they were so intense – and you know what? It sucked!!! I felt paralysed and very drugged. They kept giving me more because the young doc was a rookie and couldn’t get the amount right – I had too much by the end and struggled with pushing yet I could still feel everything. Not my idea of a fun time.
- Labour would progress quickly once contractions started. Reality – not this labour. I contracted for hours before I even started dilating. By then I was broken already. Pushing was a nightmare because the baby and I weren’t ready but doc rushed it. I was so tired by then as well
- Birth – I would have a natural birth. After pushing for an hour, with the babies blood pressure going up and down – I called for a C Section. Should I have pushed through for a bit longer to try get my natural birth? Possibly. But at the time, with the fear of something happening to my baby and literally not having anything left to give as far as pushing goes, I feel I made the right decision for us, and ultimately if I am ever crazy enough to do this again I will go the c – section route, because for me anyway, I realised labour is such a very small part of it all.
- I would hold my baby straight out of the womb, skin to skin on my chest. Reality – they put him on me for 2 seconds before rushing him off to be checked out, and then they had to sew me up while he went upstairs with his dad and nurses. He was crying so hard to be fed but I couldn’t do anything – he had to wait for nearly an hour to be with me.
- I would get to take him home the next day. Reality – not with a c section firstly. Secondly, he had jaundice and had to stay a bit longer – that was excruciating.
Now for some of the good: (it would be hard to list ALL the good but here are a few)
- Nobody – not even google – no matter how much you try– can prepare you for the feeling of hearing your baby cry when he comes out, or seeing him for the first time. I won’t even try explain it because it isn’t possible to understand unless you have been there. Suffice to say it is life changing in every way.
- Breastfeeding – I was so scared it wouldn’t work I watched a 100 YouTube videos on latching etc before-hand – in reality it came so naturally to me and him. I know this isn’t the case for everyone though but for me it felt so “normal” and easy.
- Cuddling your baby after a feed, on your chest, skin to skin. There is nothing quite like it.
- Waking up every morning feeling like it’s Christmas because you get to see him again.
- Seeing your partner become a dad – and falling in love with them all over again because of it.
- Your baby smiling and laughing for the first time – it warms up every inch of your soul
- Every little milestone your baby hits – you feel like the proudest mom in the world
- Watching your mom become a gran and seeing a totally new side of her
To add to that though, the feeling of responsibility that comes with knowing this new little person is entirely in your care, and you are responsible for how they turn out? TERRIFYING. So scary it can bring you to tears often. But then you look at their little happy face again and you know it will be ok.
The biggest lesson I have learnt so far – you don’t get to control everything – in fact pretty much everything about parenting is out of your control, and you don’t get to call the shots.
Anyway here he is – Adam Brian Christian. Light of my life – cleverest and most amazing of all babies. Born 07/08/2016 – also known as the day life changed forever in the most incredible way.
So what about the blog? Well, I have been struggling to think about how I will come up with awesome new fancy recipes and everything I make these days is so simple – and then I thought well why can’t I just blog about that? I’m sure there are people that would be interested in easy, 15 mins to russle up meals.
I still plan on getting back to more complicated cooking at some point, but for now, I am just going to post whatever I can, when I can. Less pressure = more fun = happy me.
Watch this space for some recipes coming soon, possibly even of the baby food variety;)